Beautiful Praise

One of my job titles here at AFTC is “bus driver.” Thank God it’s not actually a bus, but a van that we somehow cram 21 children into every morning. To lighten the load a little, I usually take two trips in the afternoon to pick up the kids. The “young ones” are finished with class at 2:30pm and the rest, not until 4pm. During my first daily afternoon trip, I pull in front of the school around 2:15 and wait for my wild children to come running out of the school gate, come to greet me, then jump in the van. They get a thrill out of which number they are to climb in and usually race to be #1! With this group, I have 5 of my own kids and then usually 3-5 children who live in our area as well. On most days, the child who gets to claim the #1 title is our neighbor girl, Praise.

Praise is a character if I’ve ever seen one! She’s a tiny little thing with a huge toothy grin who always has her hair nicely braided. She jumps in the car every afternoon either directly behind me, or even right next to me and just starts chatting. Some of my kids call her “the little American girl” because she just talks and talks and you have to wonder if she’s taken a breathe at all while telling you her latest story! There are times I have to look around the car to try and figure out WHO she could be talking to, then realizing there’s only the two of us there!

I know all about her brothers and sisters, how old they are, what their names are, and the types of animals at her house. I know her birthday is in August, but she’s never been able to celebrate it. “Mommy says that maybe next year, if we have enough money, I can have a party with a cake! A delicious cake! And she said that maybe I could invite 2 of my friends! Can you believe it?! But how will I decide which friends? Hmm... I could invite...”

When the other kids get in the car she somehow becomes the center of attention. She’s always loud, always laughing, and always making the other children laugh as well. They all think she’s a riot! Especially Paul. ;) He usually will repeat to me the silly things Praise has told him and giggle at her cute corkiness. 

Crazy Praisey. :)

I’ve only seen Praise unhappy once. She was running so fast to be #1 that she tripped in the gravel driveway of the school and skinned her elbow slightly. She came to me with a face full of tears and I pulled her into the seat next to me. As I wiped her tears and cleaned the dirt off of her elbow, she breathlessly explained to me how it all happened, even though I saw the entire thing. :) “It’s ok, Mommy has medicine at home that will help clean this and it will be all better...” After a few deep breaths, she was right back to her old self. John sat next to her on the way home and just stared out the window as she continued to tell him about who knows what!

I can only remember one day that Praise didn’t need a ride home. Her absence was evident and the laughter in the van was a bit duller that afternoon. What I usually found annoying, I now missed tremendously! I was so happy to see her the next day and have her tell me all about her bout with malaria over the weekend and how her Mommy prayed for her and she’s now feeling much better...

I believe God sees us in the exact same way. He longs to hear PRAISE, unending, unyielding, uninterrupted PRAISE. He wants it to dribble from our lips all day long, he wants it to be part of all we do, and never wants it to stop. I am human and I will admit that little Praise (the girl) annoys me sometimes, I drain her out about 75% of the time because to me, it can become noise and I can’t possibly keep up! But when we PRAISE, it’s music to God’s ears. He listens to us and cherishes every word. As silly as we may sound, He loves every moment of it. And just as obvious as the days I don’t have Praise in the van, God is aware of the days He doesn’t hear our PRAISE and longs for it. And what reason do we have to withhold PRAISE from Him? Is He not the creator of the Universe? Does He not direct and guide us, blessing us along the way? In my opinion He deserves all the PRAISE and honor in the world, no holding back. There can never be an ending to the PRAISE He deserves. So everyday, in all I do, I want to PRAISE Him. Every action, every word, every step I take I want it to in some way bring glory to Him. Not because He will bless me for it, but because He deserves it! I want to be like little Praise, a complete chatterbox for God!

Lord, I PRAISE you for all you are and all you will always be. Your love never changes and I want these PRAISES to drip from my lips at all moments of the day! I thank you for all the things you have done in my life and for giving me the opportunity to PRAISE you another day! Humble me like a child, with the excitement to sing your PRAISES all day long no matter my situation. In your son’s name I pray, AMEN.

AFTC... always HOME.

(This post was part of the November Newsletter at AFTC. To read the entire thing with an excerpt from Deidrah, go to www.AnswerinForTheChildren.com!)

This is the third time I am calling Answering for the Children my home. At age 19 I felt God’s call on my heart and I traveled thousands of miles away to the little country of Uganda, not knowing a soul. A nice lady named Deidrah, on the other end of an email conversation, was the only person in Uganda who even knew I existed yet was willing to take a chance on me...

My first few days at AFTC, I loosely through around the term “orphanage.” The building I was in, with children separated from their birth mother, living together, could only be called an orphanage, right? I was in Uganda for a few days when finally Deidrah looked at me and said, “We don’t like the word orphanage. It just sounds so cold. We call this a children’s home. It’s a home...” It took me a second. Of course nobody likes to be corrected, but it was in that moment that I lifted the Americanized shield from over my eyes and looked at AFTC for exactly what it was. Home. 

31 children are fed three meals a day, have a safe place to lay their heads at night and have a Mommy and a Daddy. Love, support, and inspiration are poured into them daily, wrapped up with a big hug and a kiss. Instead of being a place where children are “institutionalized” due to their troubled past, AFTC is a place where a lost child finds a place of acceptance and love, a family, a home.

When back in the US, we hear the statistics, we see the pictures of starving children on the TV and it’s easy for us to find “solutions.” I have visited orphanages all around the world; Mexico, Russia, India, America, and yes, I called them orphanages. They weren’t a home. I didn’t feel love, happiness, or compassion the way I have at AFTC. For 5 years, as I’ve worked with numerous orphan ministries, I have been singing Deidrah’s praises. The 31 children at AFTC know what a family truly is, they know what it’s like to have a birthday, to celebrate Christmas, and to be shown the love of Jesus through the people they are surrounded with on a regular basis. 

Answering For the Children has not become what it is today without your continued support. There is no way 31 children could have such an amazing opportunity at life if it wasn’t for you! The investment that is being made in to these children’s futures is priceless, and we are proud to be preparing the future leaders of Uganda for greatness and God’s glory. 

It’s not always easy though. And with a home that is getting older and children who are getting bigger, there’s always those unexpected financial issues and the choice has to be made to cut back on food or to live without something we desperately need, like plumbing. No family should ever have to make those types of decisions in life, no matter where you are in the world. But, it’s a 
reality, and it’s a reality that AFTC has been facing with much heartache lately.

With Christmas quickly approaching, we would love to make this the best Christmas yet for the 31 children at Answering For the Children. We know and understand that Christmas isn’t about gifts, but about the Ultimate Gift of Jesus Christ. When blessing these children, we bless the least of these. But this year, it will be difficult to do anything due to the financial stress that we are facing.

We would love for you to be able to get involved in making Christmas here in Uganda a special one. There is not a contribution that is considered too small. No prayer that will not be heard. Having the financial support to feed the children, fix home repairs, and take care of daily needs, also helps us be able to bless each child individually in their specific needs. We want them to experience the 
love of Jesus through you this Christmas.

Please consider donating to Answering For the Children, to this amazing family 
and home, so that we can keep our head above water and invest in these lives at our fullest potential. We would love for you to get involved hosting a fundraiser, making one time or monthly monetary donations, and praying for the home and each child individually. Your contributions will NOT go unnoticed. 

We thank you in advance for the love and support you have continued to show us! We are blessed that you are using your gifts, in whatever way, to minister to those that God loves. These children are not only ours, but they are yours and they are God’s. We do things a little differently around here, but it’s only because of the example of love that was taught to us by Jesus Christ. 

We pray that you have a blessed holiday season and we can’t wait to see how God works through you to bless this beautiful family in Uganda!

The Evidence of Things Unseen.

Six years ago today, at age 19, I took the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken. I stepped onto a plane alone, with perfect peace, to a country I had never been to before. On a continent I had never set foot on. To a place where I knew not one soul. Completely trusting God and a friendly heart on the other side of the computer screen. 

I had just been through a difficult year with circumstances that had the potential to shape my life in so many amazing ways forever, but still during that time I only saw hurt, heartbreak, and felt discouraged. I cried out in my pain to God, flat on my face, asking Him where my life could possibly go from here. “Africa,” He whispered. His voice was so soft at first but within a few months it was so loud that I couldn’t ignore it anymore.  After hours of searching on the internet for orphanages who take volunteers, I stumbled upon a small home in Uganda. There was no application to fill out, just a “contact us” Yahoo email address. I told “To whom this may concern” about my heart to work with children in Africa. I gave them the dates I had in mind and hit send. I had probably contacted between ten and fifteen places, but none stuck out like that one small home in Uganda called Answering for the Children. A few days later I received a reply from the director of that home, Deidrah. She said they don’t usually take volunteers but she would be praying about it. She asked me to also pray and in one week to let her know what the Lord has said. I prayed, talked to my pastors and parents. I had never been more excited for anything in my life. I had never felt God’s green light so strongly before and I knew this was what I wanted to do. The next time Deidrah and I chatted, I realized that this was it. 

I shared my plans with my family, friends and church family. I was overwhelmed by the support I received. It was becoming real, and my heart was full of anticipation. My ticket was bought and I filled my suitcase with little toys and gifts. I was to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas in Uganda. I couldn’t wait!

I could have never prepared myself for what God was going to do those two months. My life was changed forever. As soon as I got home I immediately missed the group of kids that had changed my life and called me Auntie. I missed them so much that just six months later I was on a plane again back to Uganda for another two months. Back to my “family.”

After that trip I prayed for another opportunity to go back. After every milestone; graduation, quitting jobs, needing to move, He never opened the door. I wanted the bottoms my feet to be stained red again from the dirt. I wanted to kiss those little faces I had fallen so in love with. Some days my face would be wet with tears asking Him why I wasn’t there. Deidrah would send me emails about situations going on in the home. “I need you Haley girl!” But still God said WAIT. 

Finally, after five years of waiting, the door was opened. I am writing to you today, sitting on the upstairs balcony of the Answering for the Children home over looking the small city of Jinja, Uganda and the beautiful Lake Victoria. 

I could tell amazing stories of what God did during that time. I could go on forever about how He revealed Himself in ways I never imagined. But what I want you to know the most is that though it sounded like it was easy. It wasn’t. I’d be lying if I’d say that everyday in Uganda is a breeze. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss my family, my friends, and even a fast food cheeseburger every now and then. But the largest lesson I’ve learned, more important than leading devotions to the beat of an African drum, more humbling than days suffering from malaria, and more terrifying than holding a sleeping baby who is HIV+, my largest lesson has been on faith. If I had not put complete faith and trust in God, I would have never been placed in the greatest adventure of my entire life. 

Many of us are afraid of giving our lives over to God. We selfishly plan our days according to what will make us happy instead of what He has destined us to do and to be. I too once felt that if I completely surrendered to God, my life would be boring and that the fun would be over. I want to tell you that God’s plans are the complete opposite. I wouldn’t trade this adventure I’m on now for anything in the world. Not knowing what happens next and letting Him have complete control has put me in the right place at the right time with the endless possibility of God using me to do something amazing on His behalf. God wants to use you also. No matter your age, situations or circumstances, He has created you to continuously live a Christ-filled adventure, bringing glory to the Kingdom. He brought me to Uganda, but that doesn’t mean that you have to fly a million miles away to fulfill your purpose. He wants to use you right where you are, doing exactly what you are doing today. Or maybe He’s been pulling at your heart to make a big step. I tell you what, that right there has the possibility to become your greatest life adventure yet.

I am so excited to see how God uses me in these six months I am in Uganda, again. I pray that the doors fly wide open for me to be a light in every situation I come across. It’s scary, but I know that God’s hand is on me every step of the way. I’m also praying that God reveals those “adventures” in your heart also, and that you will act with audacious faith to let him use you in amazing ways. 

I can’t wait to keep you posted on what happens here!

Joy & Love,

Haley Lawson

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen."

Hebrews 11:1

Awaken My Heart.

I love sleep. I mean, come on, who doesn’t? I will find every excuse not to go to sleep but when it comes to getting up in the morning, I want to hang a giant “Do not disturb!” sign across my face until I am ready to wake up.

Between jet lag, laying awake at night thinking, and long days here in Uganda, I have had a hard time being the early riser I need to be. So when the kids started school this week, I was not excited about the house coming alive with 22 little ones between the ages of 6 and 12 at the seldomly seen hour of 5am. I knew we had to be in the car by 7am, so my goal was to at least be conscious and decent by 6:45...

By the time I dragged myself around getting ready, the kids had already gotten dressed, eaten breakfast, and washed their dishes all by themselves! Hair was combed, teeth were brushed and most of them were patiently waiting to be on their way.

By the time we played human Tetris getting all 22 plus 2 adults into a 15 passenger van, I was ready for sleep again! We started the 20 minute ride to school. Benjah (orange jacket), who was somewhere lost in the sea of faces behind me, said a prayer for our day and our travels. Ok, I thought, nap time! It was then that every little voice in the car burst out in song, “Good morning Jesus! Good morning Lord!...” My eye bounced back open and chills covered my body. 

They continued to sing and sing in (almost) perfect harmony all the way to school. As soon as one song ended someone else would start leading their favorite song next. My eyes filled with tears and my heart fluttered as the sun still rose and the streets starting filling with the hustle and bustle of a new day.

And to just think, I almost missed this moment because I thought I was too tired. It made me wonder how many other blessings I’ve missed in life while “sleeping.” What if there were hundreds of opportunities for God to do amazing things in my life, but instead I selfishly chose to be lazy because it would take me out of my comfort zone. When I’m asleep in the spirit, I don’t give God the opportunity to act and reveal miracles in my life. 

I so quickly ask God to do things for me. I want Him to show me His power and prove Himself over and over by doing things my way when I want them. Yet, I sleep. And when I don’t see His miracle, I get frustrated.

The singing continued and Joann belted out, “My greatest miracle is already here!...” A smile crept across my face. God has put so many miracles in my life. I am living one right now! But because I haven’t rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and it’s not exactly in the form I expected it, I don’t realize it. What other miracles in disguise am I not letting God reveal to me? How can I be more open to being completely awake and ready for Him to do amazing things in my life?

I’m excited to see what the next 6 months in Uganda bring. I pray that I will be completely awake and susceptible to God’s voice the miraculous things He will be doing in my life and how I can impact those around me through Him.

And to think, I almost missed this moment because I thought I was too tired. It made me wonder how many other blessings I have missed in life while “sleeping.” What if there were hundreds of opportunities for God to do amazing things in and around me, but instead I selfishly chose to be lazy and fearful because it would take me out of my comfort zone. When I am asleep in the spirit, I don’t give God the opportunity to act and reveal miracles in my life. 

So quickly I ask God to do things for me. I want Him to show me His power and prove Himself over and over by doing things my way when I want them. Yet, I sleep. And when I never see His miracle, I get frustrated.

The singing continued and Joann belted out, “My greatest miracle is already here!...” A smile crept across my face. God has put so many miracles in my life. I am living one right now! But because I haven’t rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and it’s not exactly in the form I expected, I don’t recognize it. What other miracles in disguise am I not letting God reveal to me? How can I be more open to being completely awake and ready for Him to do amazing things in my life?

I am so excited to see what the next 6 months in Uganda bring. I pray that I will be completely awake and susceptible to God’s voice, the miraculous things He will be doing in my life and how I can impact those around me through Him.

Psalm 108

“My heart is steadfast, O God: I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. for great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth.”

Fear.

For so long when asked, “What is your biggest fear?” I could never come up with an answer.  I couldn’t think of one situation that even just the thought of made me break out in a cold sweat or made my stomach do flip flops. I was tough and proclaimed that with God on my side, I couldn’t fear a thing. 

Fear consumed me my first night in Uganda. I had been traveling for over 24 hours with only a few head nods of sleep here and there. I walked into the house in the middle of the night greeted with a welcoming committee of ten to fifteen kids. I missed these little faces, they hugged me, had my room neatly decorated with Welcome Back letters and made it feel like even though it had been over 5 years since being there, I didn’t miss a beat.

Just a few months before, I had so confidently made the decision to spend six months of my life back in the little town in Uganda. I left the day after my 25th birthday and was excited about taking this huge leap of faith that I had been praying about since the last time I was here. The Lords hand was in every step of the planning process. But as the days got closer to leave home, a knot in my stomach formed. With each step closer, even seeing God’s hand all over it, I was getting scared. 

My first night here, as I said goodnight to the children and shut the door to my room, that growing knot became overwhelming. I flopped on the bed and burst into tears. Was it too late to go home now? Is this really where I’m supposed to be? What if I’ve made a mistake?

Fear consumed me. I all of a sudden felt completely inadequate for the job and asked God why He was asking this of me. I wanted my family. I didn’t even know what my real purpose here was yet. Tears rolling down my face I went to my journal and Bible and prayed. 

It wasn’t until the next evening, while lying awake in bed, that God lead me to Psalm 91. Though the entire chapter is beautiful, three verses took my breathe away...

“Because [she] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue [her]; I will protect [her]; for she acknowledges my name. [She] will call upon me and I will answer [her]; I will be with [her] in trouble, I will deliver [her] and honor [her]. With long life I will satisfy [her] and show [her] my salvation.”

A sudden peace fell over my heart. I felt God whisper, “Haley do you love me?” Yes, God. “Haley, do you acknowledge me?” Of course. “Ok then. I will rescue you. I will protect you. I will answer your call. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you and honor you. And I will satisfy you with long life and my salvation. Do you understand my beloved?” 

If I’m willing to love and trust my Lord, He is willing to do so much for me. What in the world would stop me from following Him and obeying His call on my life? How are those promises in Pslam 91 not the ultimate form of love from God? All of a sudden the fear that just moments ago was crippling my heart was making this heart of mine anxious with anticipation and excitement of the things God had in store for my life. 

I know these days are not going to be easy, but I have a God who has promised to be with me. His love for me will not change for me whether I cower in the corner or boldly put on the armor of God, but His promises will stand true when I do take those bold steps. So here is my life Lord, you have my full trust and love. Let me shine for you.

The wait is over...

Dear Family, Friends, 

and Friends who are Family,

I’ve been wanting to share with you what God has been doing in my life lately!

Next week I will be returning to  Answering for the Children Ministries, a children’s home in Jinja, Uganda. Six years ago, I volunteered at this same children’s home and fell in love. The children were beautiful, the people were so warm and inviting, and the land itself was breathtaking. Yet disease and war have torn this country apart. I knew at a fairly young age that God has called me onto the mission field, and though I have still yet to discover the full capacity of that calling, I know the little country of Uganda has a big part in it. 

I leave September 10th and will be serving for six months in Uganda. While there, I will be working along side the director of the home and assisting her in all aspects of running the home and taking care of the 30 children. I will also be the kids’at home tutor and be able to pour into those who need extra help in school. The love and mercy of Jesus Christ shines so brightly in each of their little faces. Each child’s testimony is a reminder of how God plans to prosper, not to harm us and to give us hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Please pray for me as I work with these children who have come out of life altering situations. Each child has a story, and each of those stories matter to God. I hope to be able to show them the love and encouragement they need to use their testimonies, even at their young age, to become strong Christian leaders in their country.

While in Uganda, I will also be exploring opportunities for my own ministry. I know God has called me for something big and I believe that in these next six months He will lift the veil and reveal His perfect plan for my life. 

Thank you for supporting me throughout the years. Being obedient is scary, especially when you are called as a single woman away from your family and friends. But God has been so faithful in the past as long as I live on complete faith, obedience, and trust Him for all of my needs. 

It will not cost much for me to to live in Uganda. At about $300 a month I can cover all of my expenses while living at the children’s home and eating with the kids every day. I would also love to bless the children by buying new beds for each of them, which will cost about $45 a piece. If you would like to make a contribution to my work or buy a bed for a child, the kids and I would love to send you pictures and a thank you card! You have no idea what kind of impact you will have on these little lives! Every little bit counts!

Please pray for me as I minister to these 30 children and the community around me. Pray that God will use me in ways that I didn’t even know I was equipped or called for and that I will be able to make an impact on the next generation of leaders of this small country in Africa!

Thank you again for believing in me and the call God has put on my life. I can’t wait to share with you how God uses me and how YOU have changed lives around the world by supporting me.

Joy & Love,

Haley 

The Breakup.

I'd be a fool not to say I wasn't a typical girl. I knew every word to every Disney Princess song by the age of 5 and was planning my wedding by the age of 8. By the time I was 12 I was already contemplating what I would name my children and by 14 I had picked out my dream home; a sweet two story home with a wrap around porch in down town Bluffton... guys, before you think I'm crazy, if a girl says she has NEVER thought of these things before, check her pulse. I truly believe that God designed each woman to desire fairytale endings and sunsets and unicorns... but I'll get back to that someday.

Last year I though I had found it. Happiness. I truly believed that God had given me my "dream man" and that all that was left to do was buy a ring and live happily ever after. And after just a few short months, he felt the same! I was overwhelmed but felt as though all my girly desires where finally coming true. It didn't matter if we weren't the perfect match, he made me happy and that's all that mattered right? Rings where picked out, dates put in mind, and he made the move to Charleston so that this wouldn't be long distance any more. We were seriously serious and I felt like Cinderella. But just as soon as it all happened, it all seemed to end. The real reason, I may never know, and now that I look back, it doesn't matter. When it's not God's will, it's not for you. My ex is a sweet guy, but he is not the one God created for me. It took about a week of tears, begging and praying for me to see that.

Near the end of my dramafest I was getting ready for church on a Sunday morning. As I stood with my face extremely close to the mirror putting on my makeup, tears streamed down my face. Good job Haley, now you have to wait 5 more minutes for your eyelashes to dry to reapply mascara! I rested my forehead to the mirror and pouted. That's when I said out loud, "Why God?! Why me? Why now? I was so ready! I wanted to badly to be a wife! I wanted so badly to soon have a chance at motherhood and you took it from me! Why?!" I looked closely at the worn out, tear streaked girl in front of me. He spoke. He spoke so clearly that even the own look on my face in the mirror startled me a little. He said, "Haley, I have big plans for you. You know this. You are to do my work. These plans can only be accomplished BEFORE you are a wife and BEFORE you are a mother. Trust me."

As I stood stunned for just a few minutes, studying my reflection in the mirror, my eyelashes dried up pretty fast. I put on my mascara, grabbed my keys and my Bible and headed out the door. I kept quiet the entire car ride there as I let God whisper, "Brace yourself child. You are about to have the time of your life."

Another year has come and gone...

I solemnly swear that I will post more often! lol Just like most people I get carried away with the things of life and hardly have time to just sit and type... not having a computer probably has a lot to do with that too. I know that God will provide soon though! Since my last post, I spent an entire month in the beautiful land of India working with The Jubilee Market. I'm sad to say that most of the amazing experiences I had there will never be able to be published online. Working with survivors and potential victims of human trafficking is both dangerous and extremely censored. However, I do hope to share with you at least some of those adventures at a later time...

After waiting over 6 months and asking God why he placed my in Charleston, SC. My answer finally came. The Jubilee Market has been an amazing part of my life over the past year and I am so excited to see where it will go from here! I went from working at a beautiful Bed & Breakfast down town and volunteering at JM, to working both part time to now working at JM full time! I love working in ministry and especially for a cause I feel so compassionate about. I see His hand in every aspect of my life and even when the most simple of things seemed unreasonable or silly, He knew what He was doing. I look back and I am even blown away by my own faith sometimes! So here I am now, patiently awaiting his instructions again. But it is easy to say that when those instructions come, I am never bored nor disappointed. :)