I'd be a fool not to say I wasn't a typical girl. I knew every word to every Disney Princess song by the age of 5 and was planning my wedding by the age of 8. By the time I was 12 I was already contemplating what I would name my children and by 14 I had picked out my dream home; a sweet two story home with a wrap around porch in down town Bluffton... guys, before you think I'm crazy, if a girl says she has NEVER thought of these things before, check her pulse. I truly believe that God designed each woman to desire fairytale endings and sunsets and unicorns... but I'll get back to that someday.
Last year I though I had found it. Happiness. I truly believed that God had given me my "dream man" and that all that was left to do was buy a ring and live happily ever after. And after just a few short months, he felt the same! I was overwhelmed but felt as though all my girly desires where finally coming true. It didn't matter if we weren't the perfect match, he made me happy and that's all that mattered right? Rings where picked out, dates put in mind, and he made the move to Charleston so that this wouldn't be long distance any more. We were seriously serious and I felt like Cinderella. But just as soon as it all happened, it all seemed to end. The real reason, I may never know, and now that I look back, it doesn't matter. When it's not God's will, it's not for you. My ex is a sweet guy, but he is not the one God created for me. It took about a week of tears, begging and praying for me to see that.
Near the end of my dramafest I was getting ready for church on a Sunday morning. As I stood with my face extremely close to the mirror putting on my makeup, tears streamed down my face. Good job Haley, now you have to wait 5 more minutes for your eyelashes to dry to reapply mascara! I rested my forehead to the mirror and pouted. That's when I said out loud, "Why God?! Why me? Why now? I was so ready! I wanted to badly to be a wife! I wanted so badly to soon have a chance at motherhood and you took it from me! Why?!" I looked closely at the worn out, tear streaked girl in front of me. He spoke. He spoke so clearly that even the own look on my face in the mirror startled me a little. He said, "Haley, I have big plans for you. You know this. You are to do my work. These plans can only be accomplished BEFORE you are a wife and BEFORE you are a mother. Trust me."
As I stood stunned for just a few minutes, studying my reflection in the mirror, my eyelashes dried up pretty fast. I put on my mascara, grabbed my keys and my Bible and headed out the door. I kept quiet the entire car ride there as I let God whisper, "Brace yourself child. You are about to have the time of your life."
Last year I though I had found it. Happiness. I truly believed that God had given me my "dream man" and that all that was left to do was buy a ring and live happily ever after. And after just a few short months, he felt the same! I was overwhelmed but felt as though all my girly desires where finally coming true. It didn't matter if we weren't the perfect match, he made me happy and that's all that mattered right? Rings where picked out, dates put in mind, and he made the move to Charleston so that this wouldn't be long distance any more. We were seriously serious and I felt like Cinderella. But just as soon as it all happened, it all seemed to end. The real reason, I may never know, and now that I look back, it doesn't matter. When it's not God's will, it's not for you. My ex is a sweet guy, but he is not the one God created for me. It took about a week of tears, begging and praying for me to see that.
Near the end of my dramafest I was getting ready for church on a Sunday morning. As I stood with my face extremely close to the mirror putting on my makeup, tears streamed down my face. Good job Haley, now you have to wait 5 more minutes for your eyelashes to dry to reapply mascara! I rested my forehead to the mirror and pouted. That's when I said out loud, "Why God?! Why me? Why now? I was so ready! I wanted to badly to be a wife! I wanted so badly to soon have a chance at motherhood and you took it from me! Why?!" I looked closely at the worn out, tear streaked girl in front of me. He spoke. He spoke so clearly that even the own look on my face in the mirror startled me a little. He said, "Haley, I have big plans for you. You know this. You are to do my work. These plans can only be accomplished BEFORE you are a wife and BEFORE you are a mother. Trust me."
As I stood stunned for just a few minutes, studying my reflection in the mirror, my eyelashes dried up pretty fast. I put on my mascara, grabbed my keys and my Bible and headed out the door. I kept quiet the entire car ride there as I let God whisper, "Brace yourself child. You are about to have the time of your life."
