(This was written while I was in Russia with a dear friend Christine Carr. Christine is the founder of Operation 127, ministering to orphans in Russia and coordinating exchange-type programs to get Russian children adopted! The Carr Family is a second family to me, and some of my closest friends. They have three beautiful Russian/American princesses. Tatiana was the third to be adopted and I was blessed and honored to travel with Christine to bring this beautiful girl home to her forever family.)
Tatiana and I have become fast friends! Though she will not speak much, somehow we are able to fill the days with laughter. I'll have to admit, Russian Nickolodeon does help break the ice a bit! Her 10 year old heart is teaching me so much. Her story is amazing. And without words, she has told me details of her life that she would probably never be brave enough to tell otherwise.
I fell asleep with tears rolling down my cheeks last night. With Tatiana in the pull out sofa bed on the otherside of the room, she was oblivious to it all. See, she is being brought into a completely different world traveling with her mother and I, even though we are still in her home country. The places she's getting to go, the food she's eating, and even the television are all new, exciting and sometimes scary things. I pray all day long that the Lord will show me how to show her love in ways she's never know. I pray that her nerves are calm and she feels at home already.
It was Tatiana's first night with us. We visited her at the orphanage yesterday, but today was the day she would spend all her time in preperation for her big trip to America. Her mom brought her a suitcase full of new, brightly colored clothes that Tatiana could not wait to put on. Since it was getting close to bedtime, Christine asked if I would help Tatiana with the shower and give her her new pajamas while she finished up paperwork for court tomorrow. Of course I said yes.
The beautiful bathroom in the hotel where we are staying has a grand walk in shower. The kind with no doors and beautiful stone covers the walls and floor. I showed Tatiana how to turn it on helping her find the right temperature. Her eyes were heavy with amazment at seeing nothing quite like this before. She stripped of her worn, dingy, orphanage clothes and folded them neatly. I had noticed the smell of those things all day long, but tried not to make their stench obvious. She sat them closely to the shower and hopped in. I started to instruct her of all the bottles that were sitting in the shower and which soap is used for what. I use many hand gestures these days to get my point across and anyone else would have laughed histerically if they walked in seeing me immitating washing my hair and body. There aren't many monkeys in this part of the world, but I'm sure I resembled one that evening. Of course Tatiana thought it was great.
As I started to step away, thinking she could handle it from here, movement caught my eye. I watched her frail body pick up her dirty underwear. Their dingy color showed years of wear and had probably been passed down to many many girls in the orphanage. Before even rinsing off her own body she picked up a bar of soap and started scrubbing the gray stringy fabric. "You don't...!" I said and stopped. She looked at me both startled and puzzled. A look of fear crept over her face. I tried to just smile and take them from her, hoping that would get the message across. I sat them in the sink since they were now a soaked mess. I started to walk out of the bathroom thinking she understood and wanting to give her privacy. I saw her swiftly run across the bathroom, pick the underwear out of the sink and go right back to scrubbing them in the shower. My heart broke. I realized that Tatiana, to this day, has probably only owned one pair of underwear. The only time this one pair was and could be washed was when she was completely naked in the shower and she had to do it herself. I walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me, afraid of embarrassing her any more. I went over to her bed where her mother had laid out a new pair of pink and green pajamas and a crisp white pair of panties. I picked up the entire ensemble and headed back to the bathroom. By that time, Tatiana had finished with the underwear and was frantically working on cleaning the outfit she had worn all day. I didn't stop her, instead just said, "Look Tatiana, for when you are finished." I sat them on the counter and left the bathroom. I heard the wet clothes hit the shower floor with a plop and finally the smell of shampoo filled the warm air. She came out just a few minutes later clean and wearing her new clothes for bed. A permanent grin fixed on her face that I knew was going to stay there until she fell asleep. I went to get a brush out of the bathroom as she sat on the bed and turned the Russian cartoons back on. I found all of her wet clothes in the sink, still half soapy. I rung them out and put them in trash can, that smell would have never come out no matter how much scrubbing was done. I grabbed the brush and sat behind her, brushing her hair as she giggled at the TV.
Every day we are offered a new identity through the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Yet some of us just keep unsuccessfully scrubbing and rewearing the same dingy clothes. He has offered us beautiful garments, a new life. The joy He brings radiates and enchants those around us, just like lavender scented shampoo. Lord, thank you for my new friend in Russia. Thank you for letting her be a part of my life. And thank you for showing me your love in the most practical of ways. I love being clean.
Tatiana and I have become fast friends! Though she will not speak much, somehow we are able to fill the days with laughter. I'll have to admit, Russian Nickolodeon does help break the ice a bit! Her 10 year old heart is teaching me so much. Her story is amazing. And without words, she has told me details of her life that she would probably never be brave enough to tell otherwise.
I fell asleep with tears rolling down my cheeks last night. With Tatiana in the pull out sofa bed on the otherside of the room, she was oblivious to it all. See, she is being brought into a completely different world traveling with her mother and I, even though we are still in her home country. The places she's getting to go, the food she's eating, and even the television are all new, exciting and sometimes scary things. I pray all day long that the Lord will show me how to show her love in ways she's never know. I pray that her nerves are calm and she feels at home already.
It was Tatiana's first night with us. We visited her at the orphanage yesterday, but today was the day she would spend all her time in preperation for her big trip to America. Her mom brought her a suitcase full of new, brightly colored clothes that Tatiana could not wait to put on. Since it was getting close to bedtime, Christine asked if I would help Tatiana with the shower and give her her new pajamas while she finished up paperwork for court tomorrow. Of course I said yes.
The beautiful bathroom in the hotel where we are staying has a grand walk in shower. The kind with no doors and beautiful stone covers the walls and floor. I showed Tatiana how to turn it on helping her find the right temperature. Her eyes were heavy with amazment at seeing nothing quite like this before. She stripped of her worn, dingy, orphanage clothes and folded them neatly. I had noticed the smell of those things all day long, but tried not to make their stench obvious. She sat them closely to the shower and hopped in. I started to instruct her of all the bottles that were sitting in the shower and which soap is used for what. I use many hand gestures these days to get my point across and anyone else would have laughed histerically if they walked in seeing me immitating washing my hair and body. There aren't many monkeys in this part of the world, but I'm sure I resembled one that evening. Of course Tatiana thought it was great.
As I started to step away, thinking she could handle it from here, movement caught my eye. I watched her frail body pick up her dirty underwear. Their dingy color showed years of wear and had probably been passed down to many many girls in the orphanage. Before even rinsing off her own body she picked up a bar of soap and started scrubbing the gray stringy fabric. "You don't...!" I said and stopped. She looked at me both startled and puzzled. A look of fear crept over her face. I tried to just smile and take them from her, hoping that would get the message across. I sat them in the sink since they were now a soaked mess. I started to walk out of the bathroom thinking she understood and wanting to give her privacy. I saw her swiftly run across the bathroom, pick the underwear out of the sink and go right back to scrubbing them in the shower. My heart broke. I realized that Tatiana, to this day, has probably only owned one pair of underwear. The only time this one pair was and could be washed was when she was completely naked in the shower and she had to do it herself. I walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me, afraid of embarrassing her any more. I went over to her bed where her mother had laid out a new pair of pink and green pajamas and a crisp white pair of panties. I picked up the entire ensemble and headed back to the bathroom. By that time, Tatiana had finished with the underwear and was frantically working on cleaning the outfit she had worn all day. I didn't stop her, instead just said, "Look Tatiana, for when you are finished." I sat them on the counter and left the bathroom. I heard the wet clothes hit the shower floor with a plop and finally the smell of shampoo filled the warm air. She came out just a few minutes later clean and wearing her new clothes for bed. A permanent grin fixed on her face that I knew was going to stay there until she fell asleep. I went to get a brush out of the bathroom as she sat on the bed and turned the Russian cartoons back on. I found all of her wet clothes in the sink, still half soapy. I rung them out and put them in trash can, that smell would have never come out no matter how much scrubbing was done. I grabbed the brush and sat behind her, brushing her hair as she giggled at the TV.Every day we are offered a new identity through the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Yet some of us just keep unsuccessfully scrubbing and rewearing the same dingy clothes. He has offered us beautiful garments, a new life. The joy He brings radiates and enchants those around us, just like lavender scented shampoo. Lord, thank you for my new friend in Russia. Thank you for letting her be a part of my life. And thank you for showing me your love in the most practical of ways. I love being clean.
